Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Baby - After SIDS loss - Please help me

I don't typically ask for "hand outs" but I feel this is different. I need help... I need a void in my heart partially healed and this is the only way I can even think to ask for help. I hate asking.





I have a healthy 7 year old son who always wanted a baby brother. 4 years ago, I had my second son Maxxton. Life was good. 


My, now ex husband talked me into getting my tubes tied. He had other kids from a previous marriage. I had my two boys and life was going well. 


Maxxton was 6 1/2 weeks old when he passed away from SIDS. I have regretted getting my tubes tied the whole time, but thought there was nothing I could do about it and that I would just live with the fact I couldn't have another baby. 


My son asks me all the time why I can't have another child, but I have no answers. My heart feels like pieces are missing. Which they are, I know I will never get all the pieces back but I know I can love and take care of a baby again. There's nothing I wouldn't do in order to add to my little family again.


I have been saving every last thing I possibly can. We have sold un-needed items from our house. Pretty much trying to get the last bit that we can.  We would like to have the surgery done in April but are a little under $5k short. 


I'd do anything to be able to hold a baby of my own again. I am missing something in life and I know this has a lot to do with it. 


I appreciate any and all help I can get right now. 



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