Yesterday was my birthday so my dad and stepmom came to visit. This morning we all went to breakfast. Me, Raxton, Jason, my Dad and step mom.
Accross from us was a little baby about Maxxton's size when he passed away. The baby was making his little noises like Maxxton had just started to do.
I want to be happy for people with their new little babies all around, but deep down I just want to trip them as they walk by. I hate this angry feeling I have inside. Everyone deserves to be so happy with their new babies. But why did I deserve to have mine taken from me? My perfectly healthy 6.5 week old baby - just ripped from life.
My life will never be the same. I don't even know who I am anymore. How does Raxton handle it logically better than I do and I am the adult. It's just messed up.
I am so very sorry. I know that means very little compared to the pain of saying goodbye to your sweet little boy...but I am. It breaks my heart that there are so many missing and longing for their babies. *hugs* You are in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDelete