Aching in the pit of my stomach!

Maxxton has been gone for 6 months next week... I am having a hard time when it comes to letting people know about him being gone. His pic is on my debit card. I get alot of comments from people saying how adorable and asking how old he is. I used to come right out and say "he passed away from SIDS" but now I am finding that I am just saying "Thanks" and telling them how old he would be now...  I just don't know what to say anymore... I feel like if I say that he isn't here then people just think I am trying to get their sympathy but if I say how old he would be now - then it's like I am lying cuz he isn't here.... I am just confused, aching, depressed... I feel so many emotions that I can't control my life anymore.