Pass Maxxton's balloon!

Pass Maxxton's Balloon

http://tributeballoon.com/balloon/show/1042840

Just because...

Just because you don't see my tears... Doesn't mean I don't cry several times a day.
Just because you don't hear me talk... Doesn't mean I am not thinking about him constantly.
Just because you got on with your life... Doesn't mean I ever will.
Just because you stopped talking about him... Doesn't mean I don't wonder if you think of him.
Just because you think I'm 'okay' now... Doesn't mean I am.
Just because you don't call anymore... Doesn't mean I don't wish you would.
Just because Maxxton isn't here, doesn't mean he isn't my baby.

I am sick of people not acknowledging him, talking about him or letting his memory keep him alive... Me alive... I will never let his memory die. I need him in my life. Whether his body is here or not. I will never let Raxton feel like Maxxton isn't his baby brother. 

Maxxton's Pinwheel

I just want to send a special thanks to Shauna Cox for such a beautiful thought of my little Maxxton.

Obituary

MAXXTON MADILL

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Maxxton Ryker Lynn Madill Our Sweet Angel Maxxton was born June 10, 2010 to Robby and Racheal Madill. He received his "Angel" wings on July 25, 2010. Even though Maxxton was only here for six short weeks, he touched many lives. Little Baby Maxx is deeply loved and missed by his Mommy and Daddy, his big brothers, Ryan, Mathew and Raxton; grandparents, Richard (Kris) Duerlinger, Judy (Scott) Madill and Stanley (Sherry) DeVaughn; great-grandparents, Ruth Harris, Sherry Holston and Kay Nyberg; many aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. Maxxton is preceded in death by his big brother, Robby Jr. and grandmother, Leslie Walton; great grandparents, Stanley and Irene DeVaughn, and Robert Nyberg, Richard Gillett and great grandpa, Jack Holsten. Funeral Services will be held Thursday, July 29, 2010 at 2:00 p.m. at the Valley View Funeral Home Chapel, 4335 West 4100 South. The family will receive friends at a viewing on Thursday from 12:00 noon until 1:45 p.m. prior to the service.

8 Month Nightmare

Today is 8 months since we woke up to find my little Maxxton asleep forever. and last night I had this really horrible dream. I don't usually have dreams like this, and I have never had panic attacks but I woke up in the middle of the night freaking out... My dream was, Me, Raxton (my 3 yr old) and Maxxton (my angel) were at a carnival of some sort. They were having a parade so I was telling Raxton to come with me and see the floats. Once we got over there, I noticed Maxxton wasn't with us.. I started freaking out looking all over for him. I had everyone looking for my baby. Hours went by and I still couldn't find him... That's when I woke up, freaking out. It's been a really emotional day. I am not looking forward to his 1 yr bday or 1 yr Angel mark... People tell me it will get easier but I just can't imagine how that is possible...

:w.t.h:

I am so happy and excited one minute, thinking everything is looking up.. Then I can't get out of bed and just cry non stop the next...

I hate how everyone just goes on with their lives after everything was over, I suffer everyday without my beautiful healthy Maxxton here.

I can't handle all this pain. Never felt anything like this. sick of people and their opinions and judgement.

Just Say "I'm Sorry"

You don't know how I feel; please don't tell me that you do
There's just one way to know--have you lost a child too?
"You'll have another child"--must I hear this every day?
Can I get another mother, too, if mine should pass away?
Don't say it was "God's will"--that's not the God I know.
Would God, on purpose, break me heart, then watch as my tears flow?
"You have an angel in heaven--a precious child above."
But tell me, to whom here on earth shall I give this love?
"Aren't you better yet?" Is that what I heard you say?
No! A part of my heart aches and I'll always feel some pain.
You think that silence is kind, but it hurts me even more.
I want to talk about my child who has gone through death's door.
Don't say these things to me, although you do mean well.
They do not take my pain away; I must go through this hell.
I will get better, slow but sure--and it helps to have you near.
But a simple "I'm sorry you lost your child" is all I need to hear.
--Gail Fasolo--